Friday, June 14, 2013

Hearing Aids are Cool (Or: Aunt Hannah is a Hypocrite)

Let me be clear, even though I wrote a book for my Hard of Hearing Niece entitled Hearing Aids are Cool, I secretly wanted to high-five her when I found out that at the age of 3, she went outside to play and when she came back in they were far as I know, her parents never found them. I couldn't blame Evie for burying her hearing aids in the dirt. I spent a few awful years as a child fighting with my mother about wearing hearing aids. If I had been the free spirit that my niece is, I would have buried them half way to china and then danced on their grave with an evil cackle.
And while I'm told by audiologists that I've missed a LOT by not wearing them, and I could gain a lot by wearing them now, I would rather be blissfully ignorant about what's going on around me than to hear every squeaky shoe, and the clocks ticking and the water dripping and...yeah, I wore them for a couple of months recently and it was one of the more unpleasant experiences of my life. Nevertheless, I have many cousins who are fortunate enough to have their hearing impairment diagnosed at an early age so they can start wearing them as babies and have no idea what it's like to not know how to hear. It is for the cooperative hard of hearing children in this world that I post my book here. The original was a scrapbook that is in my niece's possession now, the pictures below are of colored photocopies of the original. I ripped pictures off of Google Images, and while I enjoy scrapbooking, I never claimed to be Martha Stewart, so please don't go all judgy-mcjudgy-pants on my scrapbooking skills :-) It's not copyrighted, so steal whatever you like if you feel it may help someone.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Impromptu Date to NYC

I hate NYC, and with my hearing loss I hate going to shows, though I tend to do well with music. I went to a classical music concert a few years ago with my boss, and it was very nice. But it's not something I would go out of my way to do, nor would I consider it "fun". I have recently gone as far as saying, "I will NEVER go to NYC for a performance again!"

Then Saturday I went to NYC for a performance.

My boss and her God Son had plans to go see Joe Bonamassa as a late birthday present to him. Then my boss had a migraine, and it was only right that I went with him. I was told this was "Blues and Rock" and I thought "'s one of my fave colors" "I like 'blues'" but I can honestly say it was a very unpleasant experience. I think I am deafer today than I was before, and I do not understand how normal hearing people can go to things like that!!! AGH! Boss' God Son loved it, and fortunately didn't ask me if I enjoyed it because I'm a terrible liar.

On the bright side, I found NYC much more tolerable since I was 1.)a passenger, 2.) didn't have to pay for anything and 3.) didn't have to have a clue where I was or how I was going to get from point A to point B....just followed my date, and it wasn't bad at all :-)

Moral of the story: if you go to NYC, don't expect much, and have someone else do all of the work for you, and you probably won't come home cranky.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

"Hiking" the appalachian Trail - Post Surgery

I just -*GASP* - hiked (read: Walked) for FIFTEEN -*wheeze*- minutes! *cough cough cough* on the Appalachian trail. Water! I need water!

Okay, so I just finished PT, I haven't exercised in like, ever, so I've been walking 10 minutes a day (or 10 minutes on the days when I can squeeze it in between all my sitting around)and today I pushed myself a little bit further on the AT near my house. Hiking the entire AT has been a dream of mine for several years. Only a dream, because my common sense kicks in whenever I start to think I'll ever actually do it. A woman should not hike the trail alone, and the only man I can think of who would *think* of hiking it with me is a massive baby about bugs, dirt and no showers, so it's not gonna happen, until my nephew (who just turned 7) is old enough to go with me and protect me. By then I'll be preparing for my total knee replacement surgery.
Bill Bryson wrote a wonderful book, A Walk in the Woods It was hilarious, educational and inspiring. Inspiring, because Bill brought his old HS buddy (who he hadn't seen in years) along with him. The guy had nothing better to do, which is why he went along. He was overweight, had never exercised a day in his life, and had a backpack full of twinkies when he started. And he made it half way through the trail! There is hope for people like me. I've been watching I Shouldn't Be Alive on Netflix. I normally hate TV, but I heard about this show years ago - from a pastor at a church I was visiting, and I immediately knew I wanted to see it. I <3 survival stories, ever since reading Lost on a Mountain in Maine when I was a kid. It has also been a dream of mine to be on that show some day. I fear that the worst that would happen to me on the AT is what happened to that guy who Bill Bryson wrote about - the one who was a legend on the trail because he had been hiking it for years and just kept going around in circles. Apparently a very difficult thing to do. And I don't think I want that on TV.

Who knows that tomorrow may bring. I may get off my butt and learn how to use a gun, and then hike the trail, armed. With a pistol and some Twinkies.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Where was the cow going?

A friend of mine was telling me that she was driving her usual route to work and she passed by some green pastures and rolling hills that had a bunch of black cows. She had passed by these cows many times, but on this particular day, one Lone Cow was running as fast as she could away from the other cows, in the opposite direction of the road. My friend wondered what the cow was running from, and I have to admit, I've been wondering ever since she told me about this.
Because this is serious stuff, I have spent some precious time thinking about it and I have come up with a few possibilities. I hope my readers will contribute to my speculations as well.

1.) The most obvious answer is that she heard there were going to be cheeseburgers for dinner. The others didn't follow because they didn't realize the seriousness of the situation. Maybe, because they're cows they don't speak English, but the Lone Cow took ESL back in HS.

2.) The Lone Cow is schizophrenic and believed she was being watched/followed/chased, obviously because she has a beautiful mind and the government wants it.

3.) Maybe the Lone Cow really does have a beautiful mind and the government wants it.

4.) The Lone Cow is young at heart, and couldn't resist bounding through the pastures with merriment on a sunny and breezie day.

5.) It is quite possible that the Lone Cow has a special relationship with someone (an other farm animal, or a child perhaps) and this friend was in distress. She either heard the friend calling for help, or she just new in her little bovine heart that there was trouble, and she was on it. Now I feel obligated to write a children's book, though my illustration would frighten small children.

6.) One of my favorite radio dramas, "Chatterbox audio theater" did a very disturbing 3 part (3 hours long) episode about some miners who dug so deep in to the earth's center that it discovered and unleashed hell. As you can imagine when hell breaks loose, scary things happen, and among them, livestock started attacking and killing each other. Obviously that didn't happen, but this isn't a radio drama, this is real life! maybe somebody unleashed hell and, per Proverbs 27:12 (She is a wise cow), she was looking for a place to hide.

7.) Maybe she was running because a big truck drove by and spooked her.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Who's Lovin' You?

After destroying Terence's Birthday cake AND brownies, and maybe crying a little bit over it....and having to clean up my mess in the kitchen....and whining a lot...this was posted on FB and I had to share with all of my millions of followers. It made me happy so I hope it makes you happy too :-)

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Adoption Update!

Some of you may remember my post about my dolls a few weeks ago. I put three of them up for adoption, and they all found Forever Homes in just a few hours.

*Harriet moved to Arkansas to live with my 2 year old third Cousin, Hailey.
My Cousin (Hailey's Gramma) tells me that the other day, Hailey looked under Harriet's shirt and said "Ucky" (Yucky?) and brought her over to the toilet and sat her on the seat. And poor Harriet fell in! I'm sure she feels loved by now :-)

*Petrushka went to stay with a friend in Louisiana for a week or so before leaving for her new home. When she arrived, I received this message from my friend:

Just letting you know, Petrushka made it here safely! I had to open the package because she was begging me to let her get some air after the long journey! And she is so wonderful - I don't know why you think she was a failure because she has been a fabulous guest so far and her dress is beautiful! She will camp out here until the weekend, when she will hitch a ride with Jon to her forever home! :)

A little while later, her husband sent this picture when he was getting ready to deliver her to a friend, who intended to give her to his niece (It is still unclear about where she went, but it is possible that she left the country to go live in India! I will post an update on that when I know more)

Petrushka's first trip in a car (not in an envelope)

*And Louise traveled over the Hudson River to live with the 6 year old niece of a close friend from church. Louise is greatly loved in her new home. There is no picture available, but I trust she is in good hands. I think her Grandfather is a pastor :-)

Michael Buble'

Yay! Oh Yay! I've just downloaded Michael Buble's latest Album: To Be Loved *sigh* Michael Buble' is certainly God's gift to...ME! :-)
As a rule, the only songs I don't like that he does, are the ones that I fell in love with before I heard him sing them. "That's All"? Only Rod Stewart can do it. "Moon Dance"? Van Morrison. Okay, I'm actually sick of it after listening to it a hundred times in a row, which is probably the real reason I don't like it. "How Sweet it is" -James Taylor, "You're nobody till somebody loves you" -Dean Martin - *dreamy sigh* I <3 Dean Martin about as much as Michael Buble' so let's not go there. But "Have I told you lately that I love you?" - Maybe it's because, in a fit of (my thesaurus is failing me at the moment....) self love? Big-Headedness? I fell in love with my own piano version of it. But Rod Stewart's version isn't too bad either. That being said, it's on MB's latest album, and it's pretty good. I might even listen to it again :-) I haven't listened to the whole thing yet, so I can't give a proper review of all the songs. But can you believe it - he did "You've Got a Friend" - yes, the Toy Story song :-) Life is good.

p.s. I just remembered - about a year ago I dragged my non-crooner-loving friend (NCLF) to a tiny little music hall in Westchester to hear Michael Buble's Trumpet Player. It was totally awesome even if, as my NCLF pointed out, we were the only young people there. I was just sure that Michael Buble' would show up as a surprise guest or something, but the guy was almost as good as MB, that I forgot about my ridiculous fantasy and therefore was not the least bit disappointed when he didn't show up.