How it Was That I Beat up Three Small Children

Tonight I had "Cubbies" (the aforementioned preschoolers that I teach at church) I had 6 of them, and no helper, which wasn't particularly upsetting.
I like it when it's just the kids and me, because then I don't have to worry about impressing any grown ups,and preschoolers are easy to impress. In fact, I've been idolized by at least one of them.
Case in point: 2 weeks ago I got to church a little early and went in to the bathroom where I met one of my cubbies and her Grandma. After a very excited "hello", she went to wash her hands and I went into one of the stalls. And I hear *gasp* "Grandma! I can't believe Miss Hannah goes to the bathroom!"


...I can't believe my secret is out.


Anyway, we were having a great time and most of the important stuff was out of the way. Singing, Bible stories, Coloring...and they were eating their snack, when one boy (L) declares that he didn't like his snack. So he ran back and forth until we started a game in which I grabbed him as he ran by and hugged him and kissed him and then set him free. Lather, rinse, repeat. Three other cubbies abandoned their snacks and joined in for the hugs and kisses (and can you blame them?)
Note: this is the type of game that any responsible adult would have frowned upon. But at this moment there were no responsible adults in the room.
Just as I started to think "Hmmm, this is a bad idea" L and M (a very young cubbie, about 2 years old) clunked heads, so hard that I could hear it (And that's saying a lot, since I don't hear anything). L looked to be in a lot of pain, but M was the one screaming "MOMMY!MOMMY!MOMMMMMYYYYY!" so I had to focus on her...I picked her up, which was no easy thing to do, because she only wanted Mommy and that wasn't me. I picked her up, swung her around....and clonked S in the nose with M's foot. I was aware of this, but still, M was screaming so loud that I had no choice but to ignore the rest .

I finally got M calm, and I sat down with her and all the other Cubbies came up to see how she was doing. S came up to check, and when I declared that M was going to be just fine, she leans in and very gently and quietly says, "Um, I got hit in the nose with her sneaker!" I had to humbly admit to S that it was I who clonked her in the nose with M's sneaker, but I examined her nose and it was fine. In fact, I had the rest of the group examine their noses just in case.

L insisted he didn't need any kisses on his head, but he got one anyway. Did I mention most of the rooms at church have a security camera in them? And the Cubbie room was no exception. Fortunately they're not viewed unless there's a problem. And I informed all of the parents of the accident. So Lord willing, there were no witnesses other than six little cubbies.


As a former 4 year old, I'm pretty sure this night was etched into at least 3 of the Cubbies' memories. Unless they are concussed. Then It's all good...